Rules of Being British
We at British essentials have made a essential guide for tourists to get the most out of their visit as well as getting on with the local wildlife (I.E the brits)
The Weather is never right
Complaining about the weather is the national pastime. When interacting with a brit, ‘tut’ (very useful tool in your locker) lines such as ‘Wish it would make up its mind’, ‘I like it warm, but not this warm’ and get ready for a ice cream to be thrown at you (it's tradition here)
Walk like a Brit, Talk Like A Brit
Knowing where to go is essential when traveling, but that of course isnt british related. What is however is the use of our sign system when driving and some walkways, they are easy enough to use without trouble so it should all be fine. Talking to the local can be a difficult task if you are unaware of the local lingo, things such as ‘ba’ for Suffolk, ‘duck’ for midlands, and ‘nee’ for proper north. Approach all of these terms with a smile and nod, (another good tool to have) you'll be using it a lot we promise. ‘Mate’ will also be the most used term here, it can attract attention to you, be used to introduce yourself, or escalate an argument. Hopefully you won't have to use the last of those.
When the sun has got his hat on, the sea is the place to be, one thing to remember is that you must not apply suntan lotion, we all have a desire to look like a beetroot. Word of warning, you will get attacked by a flock of giant seagulls; oh! and always wear socks with your sandals. Whilst sitting on a bench eating chips and fish with far too much salt and vinegar on them.
Pop Culture is king
Do you know what a cheeky nandos is? Are you open to purchasing a grey goose then being insulted on social media? Do you have a man bun with a beard? Good you'll fit right in here.
Sports! All of them! Football, cricket, rugby, boxing, MMA weather its a ball being kicked whacked or another man being punched we watch/take part in it. This doesn't say we are good at them however (football and rugby spring to mind, well...not so much rugby not but still it was our own world cup for goodness sake) Sorry went off topic! If your sport mad, you're already winning here.
The british way to sip your morning cuppa is in a cafe full of loud builders and alot of old people we’ve found nowadays, from a chipped mug, gazing over the majesty of a full English breakfast, or with a biscuit in front of the shouting ‘I Could've done that!’ at an elite athlete on saif TV.
Say you're with someone, and that someone suggests that it might be a little early to be downing a bottle of Buckfast outside Scotmid in Inverness, say you respond with ‘aye up ya wee bonnie tar’ and proceed with said drinking. Well that's fine! You're in the UK! On the other hand, if you can’t handle actually drinking 8 pints of strongbow and 9 tequilas, just disrespectfully place traffic cones on statues of war heroes, bellow ‘Wonderwall’ at the top of your voice until you are arrested for breach of the peace and chuck a kebab at an unsuspecting passer by and get in a fist fight.